Day of the Raptor

It all started with an innocent trip to a bakery. Bunkey needed buns and cakes from a Portuguese woman who baked excellent buns and cakes. So naturally, the Portuguese bakery she was heading to was clearly the right choice.

While driving there, a sign caught Bunkey's eye, causing her to dramatically leap out the driver's side window while simultaneously pulling the e-brake to bring the car to a stop. Then, as thoughts of "OMG LOLZ I NEEDS PICS LOLZ" rang through her head, she pulled out a camera and captured the sign forever.

-this sign to be exact-

Once the Portuguese armada of buns and cakes were purchased, Bunkey raced home, not only to devour them, but to tell Buttercup all about her amazing discovery.

-arms were madly flailing all conversation-

After lol'ing at the word "buns," Buttercup paid enough attention to hear "cakes," and "raptor for a day," causing his imagination to kick in like a super cool acid trip.

-above: imagination-

Daesho's Day of the Raptor! Narrated by Buttercup!

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT! I'M A RAPTOR! THIS IS COOL AS SHIT! AND OW! THESE CLAWS ARE SHARP! I've gotta be careful with this... LET'S GO GO-KARTING!"

And so I did! I rawr'd a mighty dino rawr, and ran from my house faster than you could say "geflargeler," not stopping until I reached the go-cart track. There I met a kid named Billy. I could tell he was experienced at racing, but he was no match for my new raptor powers!

-RAPTOR POWERS ACTIVATE!-

After my decisive victory, I decided to cool off at the local beach. There were frisbees, and sand castles, and people buried in the sand, and jellyfish, and I think I saw a dolphin with eyebrows swim by! It was way better than a normal day at the beach! And to top it all off, no one made fun of my water wings! I don't understand why anyone would in the first place though; they're a lifesaver!
Well, if lifesavers weren't already a different thing. Either way, I don't drown with the awesome power of WATER WINGS!

-seriously, water wing companies, we would totally advertise for you. Call us-

All that playing on the beach had me worn out though! You can only swim and play tag with kids for so long before needing to refuel! So logically, I went for the best snack ever...

-SCREAM FOR YOUR ICE CREAM!-

If time travel was invented, and rays that can turn me into a raptor are invented too, and I combine them, I would totally go back in time and hang out with other raptors. I'd make sure to bring them ice cream and water wings though. Everyone loves eating ice cream while swimming and killing stuff!